Most Pathetic Personals Ad Ever
From Craigslist Post
I found this ad while browsing Minneapolis’s craigslist “Men for Women” ad today and it just reminded my of my old Dungeons and Dragons roommate.
I wonder why this guy has turned to craigslist to find a girlfriend?
“Hello fair damsels, I’m your knight in shining armor. I slay orcs, ogres and dragons with my magical sword that was given me by the lady of the lake. I can protect you from darkness with my magicmissile spell D20 +3. I could slam my mug of ale on the table with furor and boast of my quests, but I know some of you may be put off by such a manly display. Fear not, fair one; I have a sensitive side as well.
I love romantic nights by the fire, watching modern ‘moving pictures’ (movies) and reading great works of fan fiction by the erie blue light of the computer screen. But of course fair maiden, we could do so much more. Many years have I spent as a rogue–a mercenary–a sword for hire, that I have not had the pleasure of a woman companion for many years. It is too dangerous to get close for then an evil sorcerer will abduct you and I cannot allow such a hole in my armor. Until now. Yes, I’m willing to give up the warrior life, for the right lady.
Eagerly awaiting your hawk to alight on my parapet with your message tied to its leg (email).”
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