Things Your Mall Santa Won’t Tell You

Reader’s Digest got mall Santas from around the country to share their best secrets — from how they get their beard to smell nice to how they deal with complex questions from the little ones!

– I’ve noticed a lot of you have started telling your kids the truth about me a lot younger than you used to. Sometimes you spoil things before your child even asks the question, just because you’re worried he’ll hear it from someone else. Please stop. You’re ruining the fun.

– I’m not a puppy, so please don’t pet me like one.

– It’s hard not to sweat in our heavy wool suits. To make sure we smell nice, some of us sprinkle baby powder in our beards; others use evergreen-scented colognes and sprays. And we’re always sucking on breath mints.

– Think your child’s request is over-the-top? I’ve been asked for giraffes, pigs, and elephants, for visits from Hannah Montana and Elmo, even for a cookbook for mom because she’s not a good cook.

– Speaking of good hygiene, please take your barely potty-trained two-year-old to the restroom before you get in line. Soil my suit, and it’s coal for you, buster.

– I love the kids, but my favorites are the little old ladies in nursing homes. When they sit on my lap (which they love to do!), they turn into kids themselves, and their favorite Christmas memories come pouring out.

Photo by santa-claus-suits.com.

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