Party Goggles, application No. 12/927,974, by Bruce Riggs of Helendale, Calif.
“How many times,” Riggs asks in his application, “have we all been stuck at a fetid fete marooned at the beer-stained end of a crowded couch, uncomfortably sipping a flat beer and hoping against hope that someone would do or say something interesting, something memorable? That is precisely what the Party Goggles provide.”
Beer Can with Top and Bottom Pull Tabs, application No. 12/657,439, by Todd Bland of Omaha, Neb.
A conventional can, Bland noted, has just one pull tab on the top. His has one on each end, allowing it to be emptied “in a matter of seconds.”
Who needs to empty a can “in a matter of seconds?” Well, cooks who use lots of tomato juice, said Bland. And … “consumers who desire a faster flow of their favorite beverage to empty their said cans.” In other words, Bland has invented a self-contained shotgunning beer can.
Electro-Mechanical Beer Pong Table, application No. 12/731,035, by Chad Hazen Hoffer, Carson City, Nev.
It’s not enough that “continuous beer consumption” during beer-pong tournaments “can sufficiently impair motor control, balance, eye-hand coordination, judgment [and] emotion/thought centers of the participating players.”
Hoffer has invented a gadget with actuators, apertures, axles, controllers, motors and movable platforms designed to make the simpleminded task of tossing a ping-pong ball into a half-filled cup of beer even tougher.