Attention Helicopter Parents, your child could be at risk in the “safety” of their own home! The perpetrators: every single door of every single room… and maybe a few double doors in double rooms too.

Wassamatta, can’t handle the truth? Can’t get a handle on the danger lurking in every entranceway? Can’t figure out what we’re getting at ‘cuz you’re a doorknob who doesn’t care if their child becomes a kid-kabob Aha, the light went on now, hmm? Turn that off, don’t you know light bulbs get hot?