The Better Marriage Blanket sounds like, and should be, a B-grade Saturday Night Live ad parody. But it’s apparently real. Leaving aside the question of whether the market demands a military-grade fart-absorbing blanket, are they sure it makes a great gift for a wedding or anniversary? Yeah, that will go over well. If you give one of these to your spouse, your days of sleeping on the couch because of his or her digestive trouble might be over, but your days of sleeping on the couch because you’re an insensitive asshole will just be beginning.